Friday, May 21, 2010

The good news and the bad news

The good news is I had a doctors appointment today and my blood pressure went from really good to awesome (102 over 60 or something like that) and that she is very pleased with my 16 pounds weight loss. That is part of the bad news too. I am stuck any where from 16 to 19 pounds lost depending on the day. So, needless to say I am not going to reach my goal of 40 pounds lost by my birthday. But the my doctor thought that was great considering I had to put Emily to sleep and started working. I wish it was more but she reminded me that hormones make it hard to lose and the fact that I have and kept it off even when being under more stress is a good thing. She also told me she didn't think I should be running a 5k (more bad news, but I get it)...Another goal for my birthday. She told me between my asthma and my weight it isn't a good goal in the long run. She said my focus should be exercising at my level and not trying to do anything that will damage my joints in the process. She told me to try that goal in about 50 pounds or so. I agree because I can walk a 5k easy but I still haven't even been able to run a mile. Another bit of good news is that I do NOT have diabetes, which I have been paranoid about for a while, because last season on the Biggest Loser someone had diabetes and didn't even know it. I have also had my period 4 times since December which is as many times as I usually have it in a year. And that is obviously a good thing! Another good thing is my "crazy pill" (as I like to call it) or "happy pill" (as Aaron likes to call it) seems to be working a little so we are headed in the right direction with it. Have I mentioned that my doctor confirmed that I actually do have OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder)? No surprise to those who know me well I am sure. I also have what she called anxiety and depression. It is all completely related to my mixed up hormones. She is increasing my dose (I was at the lowest level to begin with) so that it will continue to help. I have honestly thought for years I needed medication but never went because I heard someone at church say they used to take depression medication but they stopped when they realized they just needed to pray more and read the scriptures more. So, I beat myself up a few more years thinking yet again I wasn't doing enough, until I finally realized I couldn't pray my PCOS away and have completely normal hormones. I have known that for a while but still not done anything about it. But I am sick of wasting time and ready to feel better. And I am starting too. Because lets face it how we feel emotionally directly effects how we are in every other aspect of our lives. So, long story short: good news I have made some serious progress. Bad news: not as much as I would like. I am still patting myself on the back because it is more progress than I have made in years. I guess this is really good news then right? :)