My name is Carrie, I am 34 years old, a doormat and I take things personal. I have been in "taking things to personal recovery" for most of life. But just a few minutes ago I realized, I may not always be the one with the problem. Since when is it okay to be mean? Since we have been told to not take things so personal, that's when. It is like giving people a free pass to be mean to you. I have been told taking things personal is a bad thing and that I shouldn't worry so much, but I am starting to realize this is something about myself I don't want to change. In fact I think everyone should start caring a little more!
Should it bother me when a cranky old man cusses at me at U-Scan because there are people waiting in line and I am in charge of 4 different registers of which no one can figure it out how to use correctly and I am too busy to CHECK him out...AT U-SCAN???? Yes I think it is okay for me to take is personally when some one cusses at me because they are acting like a 2 year old and can't control their temper when they aren't getting what they want. Why is okay for him to be a total jerk and I have to not let it bother me at all. A grown man cussed at me? I am supposed to be okay with that????
Should it bother me that my 9 year old son had a 3D project due today that had colored glass stones glued to it (hope you don't mind mom. Jake thought the blue and green ones would be perfect to represent the Piedmont of NC) and I helped him carry it in (because he had to carry in his metal book holder thing) and his teacher was not happy to see me. Keep in mind there are parents galore carrying in projects (the whole 4th grade did the same project) to help their children (we are still allowed to do that right?) but it is obviously frowned upon in Jake's class. Jake sees a poster sitting by the door (we are literally in the door way) and asks if there is another place to put his so the 3D part doesn't get crushed (the other poster was a flat collage and you can just imagine what would happen to a 3D poster if it gets piled on top of....). Before he can even finish his sentence, his teacher tells him to read the board it tells you what to do and she doesn't have enough room in her classroom so they are going to have to be stacked on top of each other....Okay. Isn't it rude to interrupt people in the middle of a sentence? I know Jake is only 9 but don't those rules apply to everyone? And since when did it become a problem to ask questions at school to make sure your project doesn't get ruined? I understand that they are trying to teach responsibility but does it have to be done rudely? Maybe he should have waited to get all the way in the classroom to know what to do with it, but he was trying to be RESPONSIBLE, so maybe we can talk to him with a little more respect. It also bothers me that Jake wasn't at all caught off guard by her interrupting him and being annoyed by his question. I took it personally that she didn't even look at me when I greeted her (and I know she heard me because she mumbled hi) and didn't even say bye when I did when I was leaving the classroom. Even though I was surprised by the way she talked to Jake I didn't let it show or act rudely. Remember I am a doormat so I just acted like it didn't happen. So, now I am teaching Jake it is okay for people to treat you like that....Great way to start the day! I don't think she was trying to be rude and I think it is just her personality, but it is hard to think Jake is spending 7 hours a day this way. At least when I am grumpy and rude he knows I love him and I apologize....
And that brings me to the character trait about myself that I would like to change. I AM GOING TO STOP BEING A DOORMAT. What do I even do to start not being a doormat?
To tell you how pitiful I am, I am now worried about what you will think when you read this...It is my blog and I am allowed to vent....right? It's better than going to work and taking it out on the people that can't figure out how to use U-Scan right?