Homeschooling is hard...That is my excuse for not blogging.

I knew it would be-don't get me wrong.  I just hoped we would have it all figured out by now...but we don't.  I know it is what we are supposed to be doing.  (I keep telling myself that when Jake is driving me crazy. :) ).  I have to admit: I heard the bus go by last week and wondered if I could chase it down and make them take him with them...But that was for one brief moment and then I was reminded that we are doing what we are supposed to be doing.

I had a plan.  We were going to follow the Thomas Jefferson Leadership Education style of homeschooling...But I wimped out.  I still want to because it makes so much sense: to teach Jake the love of learning again.  Some where a long the way that gets lost in the conveyor belt that is our public education system....But it is SOOOO much harder than I thought letting that system go.  It is in grained in me that we  must go chapter by chapter in a book that teaches exactly what they are supposed to learn for the test at the end of the year...That isn't a true education.  That is teaching for a test-one of the many problems with our school systems and one of the reasons we decided to leave it.  I want Jake to study the things that interest him, so that he wants to study even more because he loves learning...I guess that part takes a while and we are not there yet...Especially since we are pretty much on the conveyor belt just at home...

We had a break through day last Monday.  We started really early and got done what we "had to do" and moved on to celebrating Aaron's birthday.  (Yep-that's right I have been so preoccupied that I didn't even post about it birthday...Happy b-day Aaron!...)  We had to run an errand and in the process we decided to surprise Aaron and clean out  his Jeep.  Because homeschooling had gone so great it was exciting to be doing this little unplanned act of service with out murmuring.  There has been a lot of murmuring going on lately in our house..."Do I have to do that right now?"..."No I haven't finished started reading my book club book yet" (even though it was a book he loved and choose himself and he has read like 5 other books instead...)..."Can't we just take the day off?".  I have to admit I have threatened, daily on occasion, to send him back to regular school the VERY NEXT DAY if he doesn't focus, stop complaining, and JUST DO IT!!!!!  Yes, I am the one murmuring right now...

I know that this is what we are supposed to be doing.That is my new mantra.   And yes I will admit: for every bad day there is an amazing day too.  We all have had head colds this past week so it was a LONG week.  We didn't get everything done we needed too...But the world didn't come to an end and there is still time to cram it all down Jake's throat another day. :)  Just kidding...I think...

The good part of the struggle is that I have had to rely more on the Holy Ghost (to remind me that I really do like my child.  I love him, but on occasion it is a little more difficult to like him...).  I have felt that peace reminding me that I can do this, because this is what Heavenly Father wants me to be doing and he doesn't give us anything in our lives that we can't handle...I keep telling myself that and when I forget to tell myself that the still small voice reminds me.  It has made me be even more excited than I usually am for General Conference, because there are specific questions I have, that I am anxiously awaiting guidance on.  I know that I will be comforted and hear exactly what I need to hear-because I always do during Conference.  It is a great reminder that the Lord is mindful of me and my family. 

Is homeschooling a walk in the park? Nope.  But maybe taking a walk in the park would help...Can we do this? Yes.  Will we kill each other in the process?  I hope not. :)