And then I remembered why I do it.

Right as I was going to make amends and discuss why I was so bummed out about what had happened, I got Jake's text and then I remembered (again) there will be days like these.  I told Jake that after he swore to never complain again.  I told him not to make that promise because it is one he couldn't keep-and that is okay as long as we are trying and working together.  I told him there will be days like this and we will have to work through them.  Sometimes our plans don't live up to our expectations.  Sometimes they do.  Life isn't perfect but it is good.

While I was in my solitude, Jake got dressed, tidied his room, packed to run away (seems we had the same plan if all else failed)...then he read a chapter in history and did a worksheet that went along with it.  He made lunch, read, and learned a lesson.  So did I.  Sometimes taking a moment (or 20) is the best idea.  Hurtful words don't have to be begged back and everyone has time to think.  Lesson learned and that is homeschooling...

On an upswing...Tender Mercy #2

My list of things I wanted to do didn't quite get done today...My goals may have been a little lofty, but I did get a lot done.  I baked some cookies that came out totally flat (I got distracted and only put 2 of the 2 1/4 cups of flour it called for and the butter was a little too soft), and I am waiting for the banana bread to finish up in the oven.  I don't have really high hopes for it because the batter was thicker than usual...

I did clean our bathroom, pick up our room, vacuum twice (and I already need to again), and a lot of laundry.  There is a load for me to fold and put away in the dryer and one to transfer from the washer into the dryer...and fold and put away.  I did make a menu and grocery shop...but I already altered the menu because I ran out of time and we just got a piece of pizza from Sam's club after we grocery shopped.  We found vanilla chips at Sam's so I even made some vanilla chip cookies (instead of chocolate chip) that I will like....doesn't get me any closer to being skinny, but that wasn't really going to happen today any way. :)

I am going on Monday to pick out and buy paint and the dinning room will be painted on Tuesday!  I didn't get to the book cases, but what is a couple of more days.  It will be a fun project for Jake and I after co-op on Monday.  We can organize our library together!

My to do list didn't get done but I feel like I am on the upswing.  We had to vacuum two times because Jake and his friends had a great time playing in the backyard and they tracked in some of that fun.  How lucky are we that our neighbors have three grandsons that get along great with Jake and visit often!?  The laundry isn't done because we are blessed to have too many clothes, towels, blankets, and sheets!  The cookies are flat but they still taste like cookies and the thin crispy ones soak up milk better any way!

The best part of the day is that Jake, by choose, is sitting at his desk (while I am sitting at mine typing and Aaron is happy watching the Bobcats because they are winning!) working on a project that he is very excited about.  He is reading a series now that has inspired him to start his own book (more on this later.  I really will post about this later because this is a big deal!  The boy who hates writing asked me if authors make good money!!!)!  He asked to stay up late to work on the map of the land he is creating...Why am I in a funk when I am so blessed?

I relearned  (for the 7, 945 time) a lesson today:  That if you look for your blessings you will always find them.  So what if the cookies are flat-they are still a sweet treat, not a disaster!  Tender mercy of the Lord # 2 of 2014 (that I have taken the time to notice...): ask and you shall receive.  I asked to feel better and get out of my funk and I stepped back and saw the blessings in little everyday things that I would normally grumble about.

One more thing...I  also cleaned out the freezer and now there is room for the huge pack Eggo waffles from Sam's club.  Jake is a happy camper. :)

Cooking lessons...

Jake has decided he wants to learn to cook and last Friday was the first lesson.  He can scramble eggs and make macaroni and cheese but he wanted to make something a little more involved.

I told him step by step what to do and he did it all.  We don't boil our noodles.  We let them cook in the sauce....

Now for a layer of cheese and back in the oven...It already looks yummy doesn't it?

We may have forgotten about it in the over while playing a little Mario Cart Wii, but this is actually the way Aaron likes it....

...Nice and crispy cheese...

This is the one that didn't get quit as crispy.

He was on a roll so he made banana muffins and bread completely by himself.

I may take an early retirement from the kitchen, because is was all DE-LISH!  He even cleaned up the kitchen after.  Great job Jake!  What are you going to cook next?







Blurry picks of the guys trying it out while re-watching the Hobbit to get ready for the Desolation of Smaug.  Thumps up all around!

If my kiddo has to grow up, at least there is a perk of him cooking so I don't have too!!!

I wish I was better at everything...Perfect would be nice.

Have you ever had one of those moments when you wish were you doing a better job at everything?  I had one of those moments today.  I have them on a very regular basis-probably daily.  I know that that little voice telling me I am a big slacker is not the one I should be listening too.  At least not to the point that I beat myself up.  You know the voice that says you can do more because I have given you these talents to use for good? . .That wasn't the voice I was listening.  I was listening to the "you slacker!" voice.  It is never a good thing to listen to that voice. . .

It started when we were reading our scriptures tonight.  Just a couple of hours ago actually.  We have decided to do better about reading our scriptures as a family (and when I say do better, I mean start doing it again. . .I am hearing the little voice as I type this. . . s l a c k e r. . .).  We are going to read the Book of Mormon together as a family and Jake and I are going to read the Old Testament for school.  That made me nervous because the Old Testament is pretty intense.  Isaiah. . .Need I say more?  It is hard to understand and it really makes me want to pull out Jake's Old Testament Stories  book and call it good.  But he is 12 now (a Deacon!. . .More on that another day), and I need to do better than that.  We need to do more than just read the Old Testament.  We need to study and "feast up on the word".  So, I went to lds.org and looked up the Old Testament.  Up popped a timeline of the Old Testament  (I should have remembered this from Seminary but I didn't) and that is when that little voice said: "Slacker."  Actually I added that part just now. . .It really said:  "You studied ancient history last year.  Why didn't you study the Old Testament then and tie it all together?"  Then I thought about how I totally dropped the ball on that one and that about a million other things.  The downward spiral of pity started to take hold, but then I decided not to go there and do better.

Actually I decided to come and blog (this is for all intents and purposes my journal. . .that is another place I need to do better.  Don't judge me people.) about it so I could get out of my head.  Writing about it so next time I get that "slacker!" feeling I can, in theory, come here and remember that letting it go and moving forward is much more productive.  No one is perfect.  We are all far from it.  It's not just me.  We have an example of perfection to strive for and eternity to work toward it!  Remember that future me and posterity! 

I wish I was better at everything!  Who doesn't?  But I am blessed to be able to be a stay-at-home-mom-teacher-cook-housekeeper-nurse-etc. and I can't do it all.  I can barely do any of it some days so why make it hard on myself by adding "feeling like a slacker" to the list?!  Maybe, just maybe, Heavenly Father wants us to study the Old Testament this year for a reason.  That is a much more likely explanation than I am a slacker. 

One more thing. . .That rambling may not have made any sense to you but it made me feel much better.  Job done. :)

The Lord works in mysterious ways...

. . .I made more $ than I would have if I had a yard sale. . .and I realized I am an artist, all in 48 hours...because I posted my creations on Craiglist. . .AND THEY SOLD!!!  First let me say a goodbye to my creations, then I will tell you how the Lord let the Spirit touch my heart to remind why we have talents. . .and more importantly why we should use them.

 My "beloved", that is what I named my table and chairs, is going to live with a sweet newly wed couple.  He came by to see it last night and said it is exactly what they want.  He is in the military and they are buying their first home here.  Could it go to a better home?!?  They just put the deposit down on their home and wanted to know if they could come and get the table next week when they get paid again.  I remember those days,(wait we are back in those days-thank you economy. . .) so I agreed to hold it for them.

 It gives me another week to use it.  I am so excited to think this sweet couple will be making memories on the table I gave new life to.  It was so ugly before. . .Want to see how ugly?

They actually look better in the picture than they did in person.  They were nasty dirty and we had to use a knife to get the goopy, yucky stain off the top.  You can see where one of the cushions was ripped open. . .And now they are perfection. 

 I also sold this sweet little side table to a new family that just moved into the area from Georgia.  They have 3 little girls and the oldest is starting kindergarten.  I mentioned we homeschooled and she mentioned they may also, depending on how this year goes.  The mom was here for almost an hour chatting and noticed a framed quote I have on the wall, this one:

She asked me if I painted the frame and I told her I did.
"Have an Attitude of Gratitude" by Thomas S. Monson (the President and Prophet of the LDS, Mormon, church).  I printed the quote (for free!), from Mormon Mommy Blogs. She then said you must be LDS.  I was surprised she said this because not many people see the name Thomas S. Monson and know who he is!  I was hoping she would say she was too and she did...but not quite.  She was raised LDS, but she isn't now. . . :(  Her parents are and her mom is coming to stay with her for 20 days in a couple of weeks to help her paint and decorate her new home.  She is using the piece she bought from me as a jumping off point to decorate her living room.  My little side table is going to help set the feel for her living room. . . ! . . . It is a small world.

So, now I have an empty space next to the couch that I will have to fill. :)  I think I love Craigslist.  In 48 hours I sold 2 projects for the price I asked for them.  I am thinking the 3rd bedroom may become the school room and have an exercise/art studio in the bigger, tiled room that it now occupies.  I could paint more and help supplement our income-from home!!!  I had a moment of clarity.  I may have had this one before (that is what I do.  Learn something about myself. Forget it...and then remember it and realize that I have a gift from Heavenly Father than I should be using. . .) in fact I know I have, so bare with me.  I am an artist.  I realized this as I was picking up the living room, getting ready for the nice new husband to come and look at the beloved.  As I was walking down the hall thinking of other people loving my creations as much as me, I saw this in the hall way:

It is where, at the moment, a couple of my paintings have landed.  They were in the spare bedroom and while we were going through all the stuff in there they go stuck in the hallway.  I love my daisy picture that has yet to find a home (I have only hung a couple of pictures, I need to get into making this sweet house our home.).  It hit me then: I am an artist.  I have a talent that I can use.  I am artsy.  Tina wanted me to paint her a picture of white birches when I was in NH and I doubted I could do it.  Why did I doubt it?  I am an artist!  That is what I do, or at least what I should do.  I am not bragging, I promise.  I just realizing that I do indeed have a God given talent, that He is expecting me to use!!!  I just met a less active member of the church, who bought my side table, that wants to keep in touch with me to help her create her home.  I am helping a newly married couple start creating their home.  Is that a coincidence or does Heavenly Father want me to use my talent? My Patriarchal Blessing, actually says I will help others make their homes beautiful, so it can be appreciated by their children and communities.  In Matthew chapter 25, the Lord gives men talents (talents where coins, but we know that this is a lesson on using the things we have to bless others: our talents), and when the man that was given 5 talents comes back and shows the Lord that he has doubled his talents, the Lord says to him: "Well, done though good and faithful servant: thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will make thee ruler over many things: enter though into the joy of thy Lord."  The Lord is pleased when we use what he has given us.  The Lord was not happy with the man who hid his 1 talent.  That man was called slothful.  I am not going to be slothful with the talent the Lord has given me.  In Moroni 10:18, it says:  "And I would exhort you, my beloved brethren, that ye remember that every good gift cometh of Christ."  I know that the Lord has given us all gifts and it is our job to find them in ourselves and use them!  Some of us are just to self doubting, and stubborn to use them.  I know that the Lord has made me an artist and I am going to use that talent to bless and serve others.  It is a tender mercy to be cleaning the house and for the Lord to remind me through the Spirit that I have a talent, the He gave me. 

Next week when the new owners of the beloved come to pick her up, and after that, I will be painting the old table and chairs and the dining room.  I am so excited to have one room completely done.  It will be a perfect 16th anniversary gift to our little family.

The Farmer Boy Experiment

Jake and I started reading Farmer Boy by Laura Ingalls Wilder together today we stumbled upon a science experiment in it that we couldn't resist trying.  Have you read it?  The main character is Almanzo (Laura's future husband) and the book starts right before his 9th birthday and tells of his life on his fathers farm.  In the 3rd chapter you learn what they did as a family during the cold winter nights. They do something our family does too. They popped popcorn.  :)

In the book it says: "You can fill a glass full to the brim with milk, and fill another glass of the same size brim full of popcorn, and then you can put all the popcorn kernel by kernel in to the milk, and the milk will not run over.  You cannot do this with bread.  Popcorn and milk are the only two things that will go into the same place."

We read this and of course we had to try it...

And guess what?  It worked.  I had my doubts I must admit!

Jake said it even tasted good. :)

Now we just have to figure out why in the world this works!  You should read this book and do the experiment.  There are great spots in the book that you can stop reading and predict what is going to happen (when the "big boys" that only come to school in the winter term come and try to break up the school what does the teacher reach for in his desk?).  AND tomorrow we are going to do a fun art project where we design our own farm (in the book they go into detail just how the Wilder's farm looks and how big it is).  This is a great history/science/art/language art book to read with boys or girls.

(I know this has nothing to do with our March=Math month but I am sure some where in the book I can tie it in.  I just couldn't wait to read this book with Jake!...Give me some time and I will figure out how it applies to math in some way...)

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

 We had our traditional green breakfast this morning in honor of St. Patrick's Day.  It is usually green eggs and ham (to wish Dr. Seuss a happy b-day month at the same time), but we went with green pancakes, green eggs,  green milk and bacon.  As I was making it I got to wondering what St. Patrick's day is even about.  I know it is obviously honoring the Saint-but who is he and what did he do? Pretty sad that after 35 years on this Earth I still just wear green clothes so I don't get pinched and eat green breakfast.  I figured it was time to learn what it was really about. I turned to trusty Wikipedia and found out a little about him and the holiday in general.  St. Patrick was kidnapped by Irish raiders and taken as a slave to Ireland at the age of 16.  He was told in a dream from God to flee to

the coast and he would make it back to Great Britain, which he did.  When he got back he studied to be a priest but felt called back to Ireland to "Christianise" (that is what it said on Wikipedia...I have never seen it used in that form and apparently spell check hasn't either...) the people.  This fact alone makes him a saint in my book!  Going back to the people that kidnapped you to be their slave?!  He is a great example of forgiveness.  It is said that he taught about the trinity by using a shamrock (not the lucky four leaf one obviously). I don't believe in the "trinity"-as in Heavenly Father, Jesus Christ and the Holy Ghost all being one.  I believe that Heavenly Father, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Ghost are 3 separate people-they make up the Godhead.  They are united in purpose but they are not all one spirit.  If you want to learn more about what I, as a Latter-day Saint believe about the Godhead, In These Three I Believe by Gordon B. Hinckley is a great article that explains is very well.    Originally the color blue was associated with St. Patrick's day.  It gave the reason for it but I must admit that is when my interest started to wane and I am moving on.   It sounds like Saint Patrick was an amazing man and for that reason I raise my glass of green milk and drink it in honor of him.  I hope you have a smashing St. Patrick's Day!

A Math Field Trip

Today we went on a little field trip.  Jake wasn't buying it when I told him it was a field trip because we were going to go shopping.  Well not really shopping...we were going to two different stores to compare prices.  You see, now that Aaron doesn't work at the airport I no longer get free coupons (he would bring home 3 or 4 set of coupons for me.), I am weighing the options of how much I can actually save shopping at my favorite local grocery store: Bi-Lo.  Since I still work there (very part time-1 or 2 shifts a month) I feel the need to shop there.  I know the employees and I always see faithful customers turned happy to see acquaintance's.  I know where everything is.  I know how awesome the sales, double coupons everyday (on coupons up to 99cents...in other words a 75 cent coupon is really $1.50 off...awesome I know), and fuel perks (every $50 you spend earns you 5 cents off per gallon of gas.  Plus there are certain fuel perks deals like buy 3 products that are on sale from this list of items and automatically get 20 cents off per gallon of gas.  One time I had $2.65 off per gallon of gas and I spent $1.93 on a WHOLE tank of gas.) are.  But...there is always a but...I also know that the prices on groceries have been steadily rising at my beloved store (probably most stores...).  I know this first hand because one of the shifts I work every month is a 3rd shift changing tags.  We change the tags on the price locked items every four week (another great way to save at Bi-Lo.  Items go on sale for a whole 4 to 6 weeks.  Good sales...) and I am a first hand witness to them going up.  When I first started couponing and shopping the sales at Bi-Lo I cut our grocery bill by 35%.  Awesome.  But that hasn't been happening lately.  The coupons haven't been as good (for the things I buy at least.  I don't use coupons just to use coupons.  I use the ones on things I actually want to try, need, or use a lot.), plus they aren't free anymore.  So...this brings me back to our field trip...I saw a commercial the other day for Walmart (where I used to shop before becoming a Bi-Lo employee) and they were showing people how much they saved buying the same things from Walmart that they usually buy else where.  Brilliant.  Math project and something that has to be done and I really don't want to spend my spare time doing wrapped up in one! We made a list of some basic items that we get a lot: milk, eggs, bread, and cheese were just a few.  We took said list to Wally World and "the Bee-Lo" (this adorable older couple from Africa came in and were calling it that with their awesome accent one time and I have called it that for fun ever since) and we compared.  We compared name brands and store brands.  Broke it down to how many sheets per roll of toilet paper or ounces which was a great lesson for Jake.  He wanted to just write down the prices and call it good until I pointed out that they may not have the same quantity as the other store.  Jake took notes and was only mildly entertained while we were doing this at our first stop which was Walmart.  After a library break (we love the library) and a quick Doritos Taco Locos at Taco Bell (have you tried one yet?  If you like those 2 things you will like this combination. The shell it like a big Dorito) we headed to Bi-Lo.  This is where the fun began...

Jake got so serious he had to get in the shopping cart to take better notes.  He was totally into this project!  He was amazed and after every thing he jotted down he would say "we are not shopping here anymore!" or "we are going back to shopping at Walmart!". We haven't done all the calculations to see just how much we would save by shopping at Walmart...but EVERY.SINGLE.ITEM cost more at Bi-Lo...{sigh}. Example: we use Hunts spaghetti sauce and it is 50 cents more a can at Bi-Lo...even on sale and with fuel perks added the regular price at Walmart (they didn't carry it for a while but in my absence have since gotten it back on the shelves) was better....I am sad.  I didn't want to admit it but I have seen the prices rising at Bi-Lo for about a year but it was just a little at a time.  They were rising at every store!  The problem is Walmart has more stores, buys in bigger quantities, and therefore can lower their prices more to get people in the door.  Back when coupons were free (and better) and I worked when Jake was at school (and knew all the sales and all the coupons that were out there to go with those sales because I rang them up all day), and  Bi-Lo was trying really hard to  compete...I saved a lot of money there.  Now that Fuel Perks have sucked people in (saving on gas while buying groceries is a VERY powerful tool) they don't notice the prices have crept back up. 
Tomorrow we will put up the complete tally of our random and make believe grocery list (we didn't compare produce because the prices change so much according to seasons and if they are gross at one place I will spend more at the other for them and the farmers market will start getting the good fresh stuff soon).  We forgot about crackers and chips and snack stuff so it is a pretty random list but the point has been made clear.  Actually several points:
*We use math in everything we do.
*Stores will try and make you think buying the bigger quantity is the way to go because it is cheaper, but that is not always the case so check the cents per ounce (or price per sheet...).
*If they blind your with other bells and whistles (coupons, cheaper gas,...) than they will trick you some where else.
*Going to the grocery store can be a field trip.
*Math can be fun...did I really just say that?
*Jake was reminded today just how quickly "small change" can add up.  As he told me today: "It is like you always say Mommy: every penny adds up!"  Makes me wonder how many extra pennies we have spent this past little while that we didn't have to if I would have just swallowed my pride and gone back to the  loathsome Walmart...
*And most importantly: If you can save 40 cents on a bag of chocolate chips and 17 cents per ounce on flour and sugar you can make cookies more often and your family will think you are the bomb.

What a difference a day makes

Thank you for those of you who reminded me I am not the only one who has those kind of days!  I needed that reminder...Today went much better than yesterday.  Tomorrow I am sure will be even better! :)

Yesterday wasn't a total bust actually.  There were parts that were pretty darn awesome.  Like the part where Jake and I sat in our PJ's in his bed studying all about Pythagoras, doing some critical thinking to figure out some pretty nerdy math stuff, and pretty much feeling like geniuses. Math month is a hit so far. When Aaron came home from school Jake couldn't wait to show him the stuff we had done.  Aaron said that he had given similar problems to his students (9th and 10th graders) and most of them couldn't figure it out.  I have to admit that I did have the answers to check ourselves as we went a long but we really didn't cheat I swear.  I would just check to make sure we were not going in the wrong direction with the patterns we thought we were finding.  It really is pretty amazing to watch someone think who is more math and science minded than I am.  Jake is a pretty smart dude.  I  may actually stop saying I hate math by the end of the month.

Isn't it funny that even though we had a great time some how the biggest part of the day I remember is the few minutes that weren't so pleasant.  Why is that?   I screamed at the top of my lungs raised my voice at Jake ...let me just sound like a 5 year old for one second: he yelled at me too!...okay I am done.  Back to being 35.  I got mad and yelled.  At which point he yelled back and then I got really mad.  And then I really yelled because I am the mom I can yell but you can't!...Not using quotes because I didn't say it but I may has well have.  I feel like this is deja vue (sp?  thanks for nothing spell check)...I have done this before?  Yep.  BUT...I took a few minutes to cool down and made Jake do the same.  Then we talked about it.  Apologized and went on with the day. 

I am not the only that has these momentary lapses in good parenting skills.  I know that.  I am still trying to figure out why as a mother I (dare I say we...) continue to beat myself up and won't let go of the mistakes...I don't always remember the parts I can say: "I did good" to. This reminds me of another quote I found on Pinterest that I am going to frame and put on the wall...as soon as I have a wall that is mine to put it on. :) 



This one made me smile and I am glad I stumbled upon it because when I have those moments of self doubt, pity, and regret this keeps coming to mind.  I am going to start being nice to myself right now by giving myself a mani/pedi and using my new $2.49 nail polish I got today. What are you going to do to be nice to yourself today?